Wednesday, December 7, 2011

To Governor Perry

Dear Mr. Perry,

I'd like to commend you on your new ad. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks, what with your little debate kerfuffle (let bygones be bygones) and messy, messy Herman Cain business (what a rascal, huh?!), so I figured you could use a sincere compliment or two.

First of all, excellent choice of location. The plunging greens and the soft autumnal hues lent some moment to the proceedings; instead of addressing us from inside city hall or behind an office desk, you bravely stationed yourself out in the wilderness, in the dirty, oakish, primeval thick of it. It's clear that you, sir, are a truly Emersonian man of nature, one who devotes great amounts of time to deep thinking in the shadows of tall trees. In fact, at the beginning of the ad, it appears as if you are walking away from such a meditative session. You're a true man of the outdoors, and I of all people appreciate it. This location is so gorgeous that I almost considered looking it up, but as you and I both know, research is overrated.


Secondly, give that cameraman a raise!! The entire ad is clearly shot and in focus. You've got the best people working for you.

Finally, I must say that I admire your conviction. In the theater of politics, there's something about the subject's eyes--if you look closely, you can often see a thought shaking in its proverbial boots, ready to rush out the revolving door whenever it isn't popular. If you look really hard, sometimes you can even catch a glimpse of the brand new thought rushing into take its place. But not you, sir. I look at you and I see a certain solidity--you have beliefs, and you'll stand by them. You have a backbone, something only approximately 2.6777% of all living politicians have. However, one small caveat; I'm having a great deal of difficulty locating your brain.

What do I mean? Well, let's take a look at a transcript of this ad, shall we?

"
I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion. And I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.
Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.
I'm Rick Perry and I approve this message."

Ok, so just a couple things:

1) Of course you aren't ashamed to admit you're a Christian. You shouldn't be. We've all faced persecution for our beliefs, and we ought not have to sit uncomfortably in the cocoon of our own convictions. You were most likely attracted to Christianity from a very young age. It called to you, and you followed it, because, well, you couldn't not follow it. Your thought process probably went something like this:

1) If I find something meaningful, and it do not expect it to harm others, I will pursue it.

2) This will not harm others.

3) Therefore, I will pursue it.

I appreciate this message, this call to be one's self. The problem is, you abandon it midway through the sentence. After all, by expressing discontent with homosexuals serving in the military, you're implicitly displaying disdain for homosexuality in general. It's not just that you don't support gay rights; it's that you damn them using the same argument with which you praise your own Christianity. I'm confused as to how, from the above three step process, you deduce that you have a right to the pursuit of happiness, and gays do not. I suppose you could claim that accepting gays into our mainstream culture would be harmful, either to our national moral fabric or the institution of marriage. But as far as I know, no national standard of morality exists; we are free to hold our own ethical beliefs, assuming they don't cause some sort of kink in the clockwork, don't actively interfere with our country's day-to-day safety. In terms of the marriage objection, all I can say is this; Dictionary.com defines marriage as such:

a.
the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. separation.
b.
a similar institution involving partners of the same gender: gay marriage.

Firstly, I must ask; how does it feel to hold opinions that are so philistine even the dictionary no longer recognizes them? Unless of course, you have a different understanding of marriage; if you define marriage as a process by which two persons of the opposite sex become vessels with which to produce little, drooling voters-to-be, I suppose homosexuality is very wrong. But if marriage is indeed nothing more than an official establishment of commitment--the dictionary definition--I don't see how gender comes into at all. But I've gone off on a tangent. Let's skip ahead to my favorite part:

2) "As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion." Firstly, when last I checked, Barack Obama won the last election, fair and square. Love him or hate him, but even if you think its a monster, call the monster by its proper name--President. But anyway, here's my problem. Take a look at the way you use the word "war" here. You aren't talking real guns n' ammo war, but a metaphorical battle. That's fine. However, earlier in the ad, you bring up the military, and condemn the repealing of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law. This shows a serious concern for our armed forces--it appears you really do care about who they are and what they're doing. But then, you use the word "war" in reference to a conflict that is not only non-violent in nature, but almost entirely imagined. If you're trying to convince me that President Obama is waging a "war" on religion, you must provide concrete examples. Just because you say it doesn't make it so. Many of your followers don't get that. I do. To use a word that carries with it true electric power, that throbs with the ache of loss and trauma and rumbles with the godless threat of gunpowder and shattered shrapnel and death itself and then apply that word to a petty conflict of compromised values is offensive. To use that word mere seconds after expressing concern for our armed forces, who are in the midst of a real war, is about the most unpatriotic thing I can think of.

3) "
Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again." This is a really funny joke. You should tell it at parties. Faith did not make America strong. Logic made America strong. A group comprised of atheists, agnostics, and true believers, united by a willingness to compromise and a knack for thinking clearly and creatively--these people made America strong. I would remind you that our last attempt to govern based on religious thought alone gave us the Salem Witch Trials. I don't know what America you love, Mr. Perry, but I love the America That Reasons; the America that feels the weight of false traditions and uses the power of idea and rhetoric and mastery of the mind to lift that weight. I don't love the America That Worships False Idols, that spends its time making gaudy Golden Calves out of old Americas that never existed; a Christian America, a Conservative America and, God help us, a Simpler America. The America you want to "re-create" has never been created at all, and for a good reason; we're better than that. I don't see a single concrete example in your entire ad. I see the words "something wrong", but I don't see a single word about WHY it's wrong. I guess we're supposed to assume that you just know its wrong, because just knowing is what got the Constitution signed, isn't it? There are those who would call you a tyrant, who claim that your presidency would usher in a Stalinesque repression of free speech. I think that's a tad ridiculous. We wouldn't be a country run on oppression. However, we would be a country run on unfounded beliefs and unchecked nostalgia. And that's damn near as dangerous.

4) "I'm Rick Perry, and I approve this message." I can't refute this statement. I wish to God I could.

Please reconsider a few things, Mr. Perry; first your run, then your beliefs. Think about them, not in terms of abstracts, but in terms of concrete logic--maybe for the first time.

I'll be back next week with the first edition of my annual Best-Of-Listomania. Maybe by then, my blood pressure will have cooled.

No comments:

Post a Comment