Ladies and gents, the Oscars are upon us, where we honor....some of the best films of the year. Not the actual best, God forbid; my favorite film of 09, the surprisingly raw, incomparably visionary Where the Wild Things Are, was 100% shut out, and my second fav, the everything-old-is-new-again triumph An Education, hasn't even a decent shot at a win. But nonetheless, let's talk about who WILL win, and also, who should.
Best Picture:
WHO WILL WIN: There is some genuine possibility of an upset here. While many predict a Hurt Locker win, I'm going to truly go out on a limb and predict that the Academy's wonky new voting system (which has the viewers rank the films and then gives second-place movie a bit of a boost), will cause an upset-my final pick is Avatar, though Inglourious Basterds has a phenomenal shot, too.
WHO SHOULD: An Education. Having said that, I fell for Avatar no matter how hard I tried to apply my own brand of vitriol-glazed cynicism to it, and I wouldn't mind seeing it get some Best Picture love, either. Hurt Locker was riveting and commendably realistic, but its lack of emotional pull and bitchy campaign snafu have me rooting against it.
Best Actor:
WHO WILL WIN: I'd bet my car, my DVD collection, and all my autographed Playbills that Jeff Bridges will win for his work as a sad-sack, beer-bellied country singer in Crazy Heart.
WHO SHOULD WIN: George Clooney for Up In The Air. He tore this performance from his gut, really pushed himself; for the first time, we see the soulful human chinks in his suit of Slick-Rick movie star armor.
Best Actress
WHO WILL WIN: Lots of people predict a Sandra Bullock win (Why, God, why?) But, honestly (and I'm not just saying this because Streep's Julia Child was my favorite female performance in about five or six years), I think Streep's going to win. She hasn't in 30 years, and as she inches closer to ultimate retirement, and then to death, and then to becoming the Archangel of acting Heaven (hopefully they forgive her Mamma Mia!), Oscar's gonna want to give her one more golden statue.
WHO SHOULD WIN: The same as who will. Meryl drove the film, exuding a warm, red-blooded life force that's as infectious as it is unwavering and true.
Best Supporting Actor:
WHO WILL WIN: Christoph Waltz, for his catchphrase-usin', milk-lovin', foot-fetish bearin' Nazi madman in Tarantino's revenge epic Inglourious Basterds.
WHO SHOULD WIN: Same dude who will. This man doesn't just chew the scenery; he swallows it whole. A glouriously over-the-top, once-in-a-lifetime perf.
Best Supporting Actress:
WHO WILL WIN: Mo'nique, as a mad mother who hurls insults and utensils with equal monstrous aplomb, then shocks us by reveal a pathetic scrap of soul, inPrecious.
WHO SHOULD WIN: Mo'nique. Some of the best work of the last decade.
Best Director:
WILL WIN: Kathryn Bigelow; Don't get me started. She did a good job with a good action film. But so could about a hundred other directors. How about pick Spike Jonze, who visionary approach to Where the Wild Things Are gave the movie most of its oomph? Or JJ Abrams, whose Star Trek was such a blast? Oh, wait. You didn't even NOMINATE them. But Bigelow will win because a female victory in the category is a first. What a shame that the first Oscar or a female director is given to someone infinitely less deserving than, say, a Barbra Streisand, Jane Campion, or Nora Ephron.
SHOULD WIN: Meh. Like I said, the deserving ones were mostly snubbed. Hollywood's awesomest asshole, James Cameron, put over 15 years into the flawed but wildly involving Avatar. A for effort.
Best Animated Feature:
WILL AND SHOULD: UP. And Dug the Dog better make the acceptance spee-SQUIRREL!
So there you have it. Questions? Comments? Death threats?
Go right ahead.
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