Me And Orson Welles

Technically, the title of this post should be "Orson Welles and I", but I'm going for a cheap laugh by stealing the title of the Zac Efron film released last year. But before I get to Orson in all his fat, ego-mad glory, I have two personal announcements to make... 1) Imma change my slogan up weekly, make sure to check it out at the top o' the blog. AND 2) I've finally finished a piece of writing. Or at least a chapter of something, something that I have something resembling a vision for. It's called Death to Mr. Darcy, and here's a snyopsis;

H.D. Shea is a janitor by day, but by night he is a self-declared "Ares of Academia", waging a citizens war on chick-lit, experimental colleges, the movies, and Jane Austen. As he wreaks havoc on his latest target, a discount bookstore, we journey deep into the bizarre recesses of his past, meeting the mother he idolized, the father he failed to understand, the women (and men) he attempted to love, and the mysterious, ancient Professor Beckstein, who may be the key to understanding this strange, sad creature and his aberrant worldview. Enlivened by sly, absurdist humour and shot through with a tragic lyricism, "Death to Mr. Darcy" is a wry, insightful reminder of the corrupting and redeeming powers of art. I've spent three weeks hammering away at the characters, researching the real-life lit that appears in the piece, and, of course, carefully selecting the right font (hey, I'm OCD about this stuff). In short, I'd appreciate it if you read this, the first chapter, and gave me some thoughts. As a matter o' fact, everytime somebody reads a chapter and inboxes me with SPECIFIC commentings (more than one or two wee sentences) regarding what you like and don't, I'll award you fifty Jewpoints for your troubles.. :) Any problems, lemme know. Read away, but then come back to here!

Read? Commented. Great. Buckle dem seatbelts, chillins. I be writin' bout what Roger Ebert done called the best movie that be existin'. Evah.

CITIZEN KANE

The 25: The classic that won't die-and for good reason.

Citizen Kane is the single most praised thing since that dude who did the whole water-into-wine shebang back in pre-feminism days. As such, when talking about Orson Welles pseudo-biographical boundary-breaker, its difficult to separate fact from opinion. But, after much stubble-scratching, I have found a way...

Objective: This film has occupied the "#1" spot on more all-time best lists than any other.
Subjective: I wouldn't go that far, but in my eyes it's definitely a great American epic, and one of the best products of the late 30's-early 40's celluloid gold rush.
Objective: Director/actor/demi-god Orson Welles made the decision early on to tell the story of newspaper tycoon Charles Foster Kane (Welles!) and the mystery of his final word ("Rosebud...") using multiple narrators, an experimental choice that's freed everyone from Allen to Tarantino to play with structure as they please.
Subjective: The oldest tricks truly are the most effective, for as effects-reliant pictures (George Lucas, nyuk nyuk nyuk) from four years ago already look aged, Kane, released 50 years before my birth, remains affecting and arresting simply because it knows how to tell its story.
Objective: This film was the first to employ the concept of "deep focus" photography extensively and successfully, implementing a style of camerawork that's still used today.
Subjective: I beat it to death, I know, but I truly find that there's nothing quite so exciting as a picture that believes in its audience, and boy, oh boy, does this one; the camera never blurs out the background, never instructs us where to look, lets us pick out what really matters from the bric-a-brac-that great sweeping shot of Kane's myriad possessions in the finale is but one example of this.
Objective: Welles was a stage actor before this picture.
Subjective: I believe that, thanks to his theatrical experience, Welles was devoid of the sort of glitterati vanity many big-screen actors possessed at the time, and because of it his Kane performance is both awesome in its crazed grandeur and terrifying in its quiet rawness; this performance, one of the best ever captured by a camera, was ground zero for the slow but sure rise of realism in screen acting.
Objective: Citizen Kane featured major innovations in the areas of music, lighting, editing, special effects and make-up design.
Subjective: The great mark of a groundbreaking picture is that it doesn't date, and, indeed, to these eyes, it almost looks like they made this one yesterday.
Objective: Critics who do take issue with the picture do so on account of its "lack of emotional pull".
Subjective: Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?!?! Seriously, look at Kane's final scene with Susan (Dorothy Comingore), at how he finally comes to comprehend what love is but fails miserably in his attempt to manufacture it-"lack of emotional pull" my ass.
Objective: Kane's story bears much resemblance to that of real-life legend William Randolph Hearst.
Subjective: True, Welles probably used Hearst's story as a rough outline of his own, but this film is about America. It is about our roots, how we've strayed from them, what we've discovered and lost along the way. It is about us, and I cannot imagine the movies without it.

Citizen Kane teaches all artists a valuable lesson; do not contemplate your own boundaries, even for a minute. Welles wrote his script without the slightest idea of how to bring his vision to the screen, and as such, created a work of untamed, imaginative id. His naivete led to the creation of a good 50% of the techniques modern directors use to this day. In short, do not worry about the journey; first, imagine the destination, and if there is no road, pave it yourself.
The Singular Scene: "Rosebud" revealed.